Since I hit my late twenties, I feel like things have started to “click” in my life.
Sure, I still struggle to adult most days like everybody else. However, I feel like I know a lot more about the world now. Especially when it comes to friendship.
I mean, when you’re in your teens and early twenties, you think you know people. You think you have your ride-or-dies for life. And you think you know who you can trust and who you can’t.
But friendships evolve. People change. And certain behaviour can’t be forgiven.
Want more details? Read on for the friendship lessons I’ve learned in the last few years.
Friendship lessons 101: sometimes friends can surprise you in the very best way.
I’m talking about the times that they show up at your house at 10pm because you called them crying about your recent break up.
Or the times where you point out a top that you adore when you’re out shopping together, only to find out that your bestie bought it for you as a birthday present. #Winning
Then there are the bad surprises when it comes to friendship.
You know, the ones that make you feel sick to your stomach because someone who you once classed as a close friend has done or said something unimaginable. And you’re not sure if you can forgive them for it.
In fact, those surprises suck. And because you don’t expect them, they can be extremely difficult to deal with.
But with every dark night, comes the dawn. And people show their true colours sooner or later, which actually does you a massive favour in the long run.
Why? Well, it helps you to work out who you should and shouldn’t spend your precious time with.
I’ve also learned recently that you can never have too many friends.
I mean, isn’t it great when you think you’ve found your closest gal pals for life and you’re adamant that you don’t need anyone else, but then an absolute gem comes into your life out of the blue?
This always seems to be the colleague you get on extremely well with or a stranger who you end up chatting to for hours with on the coach journey back from Penzance.
In essence, it’s someone who meant nothing to you not too long ago, only to mean everything to you a few months later.
And these examples just show you that you can build strong connections with people at any point in your life.
One of the most important friendship lessons you’ll learn is that some friends are only in your life to serve a specific purpose.
Once they’ve served this purpose, they might disappear without a trace. Even if this isn’t exactly how you wanted things to turn out between you both.
For example, my best friend from high school ghosted me. She just never texted me back. And now I haven’t spoke to her in years.
Sure, our friendship was already on the rocks because she hadn’t been a good friend to me for a long time. Having said that, it still hurt tremendously that she couldn’t be bothered to try and mend the friendship.
After all, I’m a big believer in forgiveness, positivity and always moving forward in life.
Unfortunately, the friends you made when you were younger might not be on your wavelength anymore. You grow apart instead of growing together.
And this can be hard to accept, but if they’re not interested in being a part of your life anymore, it’s better to let go than waste any more energy on the situation.
Also, life can be unpredictable at times.
For instance, you can go for months without seeing one of your besties merely because one of you is in a new relationship, travelling or is extremely busy at work (delete as applicable).
And this is understandable.
After all, it can be difficult to find spare time for yourself when you’ve got a full and hectic schedule, let alone for anybody else!
You both don’t mean for it to happen but it does, and you have to forgive each other for it.
As long as you’re both checking in with each other as much as you can, given the circumstances, then that’s all that you can do really.
True friends will understand that that the time spent apart would never alter your bond, whether this is two months or two years.
Speaking of true friends, they won’t ever leave your side, no matter what happens.
If they really do care about you, there’ll be NO getting rid of them (even if you try super hard!).
Also, you might not see them for months on end because life has gotten in the way. However, when you do see them, it’ll be like no time has passed at all.
And that’s how you know that you’re buddies for life.
Lastly, no matter how old you get, you’ll always need your friends by your side.
One of you might temporarily struggle to see the other when distracted by other life issues.
However, ultimately, you should always make your friendships a priority.
Partners can come and go, but always remember that friends are the family members that you choose for yourself.
Never take them for granted and make sure that you’re always there for them, and they will be there for you too.
(Friends theme tune, anyone?)
Pink Coat – Topshop (similar here and here) / Ripped Jeans – Levis @ ASOS (similar here and here) / “Feminine” Tee – River Island (similar here) / Pink Converse – Primark (similar here) / White Bag – Primark (similar here) / Tassel Earrings – River Island (similar here)
In summary, friendships may come and go in your life. It’s just a part of being human.
That said, once you find a friend who’s positive to be around, makes you laugh, is there for you when you’re going through tough times and supports all your dreams and aspirations, hold onto them for as long as you can.
Speaking of, I just have to shoutout to some of my favourite girls in the world who have always been there for me, no matter what, and taught me all the best friendship lessons.
Thank you Amy, Vanessa, Juliet, Tasha and Berry for sticking with me through the good times and the bad. I’m forever grateful for your unconditional love and support throughout the years.
And whether you like it or not, you gals are stuck with me for life!